broke but not broken

Broke but not broken
I heard those words in a song this morning at the rec center and I have not been able to get them out of my mind since. Bear with me as I try to get onto paper what God has been weaving through my heart all day long. The exact path is still a bit fuzzy to me so let’s see where this goes.
Broke but not broken ran around in my head all day long and I just couldn’t grasp what God was trying to tell me.
Most of you know that the past 9 months or so have probably been some of the hardest times I have ever lived through. The pain was intense and searing hot, the loss as heartbreaking as a death and the void it left felt like the Grand Canyon times a million. I am not going to recount events because most of you know anyway. I guess specifics aren’t really important to this story. Events that bring you to your knees tend to be of the devastating nature and often leave you feeling broke but not broken or vise versa.
I most certainly felt broke and was only feeling that they had not “broken” me because of an earthly stubborn streak that simply wouldn’t let me give in. To give in was to lose, or let the other team win and dang it, that was not going to happen!
Then late this afternoon events broke that meant the ordeal was finally over and the results could have only happened with the hand of God.
It literally hit me like a ton of bricks. Suddenly I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt what God was trying to tell me. Maybe this whole story wasn’t about who won or who lost. Maybe just maybe walking through this story was the only way to get me to see that sometimes God needs us to get in a place where we are broke AND broken. Then and only then do we let go of that earthly stubborn streak that has held us back from enjoying true freedom in Christ.
Well it certainly didn’t take long to get to the heart of what God was laying on my heart.
To write it was easy, short, sweet and to the point.
To live it took many long heartbreaking months.
But I get it now. God you truly are amazing. No matter how hard the road is you are taking me down, I do know without a doubt that you will meet me at the end of that road.
…………………..and so I ride5602041_orig


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