Old habits are hard to break, or so I’m told, but I can certainly see the truth in that statement as I am sitting here at 3 am just because I have gotten up at this time for the last 3 and a half years to do homework. But now that school is over for me I am finding that I can’t stay in bed past 3 am, much to the consternation of my hubby.
With no schoolwork to do, not enough energy to jump on the stationary bike or treadmill for a couple hours yet, I turn to my favorite thing to do, thinking, researching and writing.
The questions of the day (I couldn’t narrow it down to just one) , are : Are we driven by pain, do we listen and hear better when we are suffering and when we get answers that indicate there are things in our lives that we need to change, do we have the courage to ask Jesus to help us change them?
I could lie and say that I have no faults and have nothing to change therefore it must be the others in my life that need to make the changes that will finally give me happiness. However, somehow I know that everyone who knows me very well would start laughing hysterically as they were locking me in a closet.
We are human though and through and we get comfortable, even in behaviors and situations that are not good for us. Then the doubts start flooding our minds, what is going to happen if God takes those rears away? The fear of the known , even if it is less than ideal, is quite often less than the fear of the unknown.
Therefore, in my mind anyway, it is up to those around me to change, because as for me, I AM FINE!. If they change, my life changes for the better! So I go along for a little while but there is an annoying little nagging going on in me, My happiness cannot possibly depend on forcing changes on someone else.. Right? This to me smacks of pride and fear but changing myself also seems impossible for me to do alone, that is why I keep procrastinating.
To answer my first question, yes I do believe that we are driven by pain. To be in pain is to be in an uncomfortable place, It is a place we desire to be gone from, ASAP, therefore (Question #2) you bet we listen and hear better when we are in pain because we are looking for answers to rid us of uncomfortable circumstances. Now, the third question is a harder question, it depends on how serious we are about removing ourselves from our problems and it depends on how much we believe what Jesus tells us. (Read John 4:46-54)
So for those around me to change their ways may possibly help them and make them better people but it probably isn’t going to make me one iota happier in my circumstances, the changes capable of doing that have to come from God and occur within me.
When Jesus asks if I am ready to become complete, I have to set aside all my excuses, quit holding onto the familiar , tamper the resistance, extinguish the fear, quit procrastinating and avoiding the power of Jesus, then I become willing to fulfill God’s plan for me.
So I am finding that if I am entirely ready to have Jesus intervene in my life and do as He says, if I believe I cannot do it under my own power and that Jesus will do what He says, if I believe He and He alone has the authority to do what He says and most importantly He is waiting for me to come to Him and ask, then my life gets better and I find freedom and security.
Just a few things that were on my mind this morning.
…………………..and so I ride