I never know where God is going to take me when I sit down and open His word. This morning was no different, I need to get used to the feeling of, “today is the day God is going to teach me something”. I just didn’t realize I would be getting dance lessons this morning.
I am studying Matthew today and 19:6 was highlighted in neon. “So they are no longer two but one flesh, what therefore God has joined together let no man separate.”
I have come to think of marriage as a piece of artwork all in its own. It is a dance that has a rhythm and a beat unique to the two dancing. Sometimes the beat is soothing and makes me feel like I could fall into it and rest forever, sometimes it is a fun, rapid beat that energizes me and sometimes it is heavy metal that is chaotic and hurtful to the senses and cannot be sustained for long. However, it is continual and goes from one song to another. Sometimes we dance in perfect harmony and sometimes we collide and step on toes and even fall. Sometimes the one who is supposed to be leading gets lost in the music and we twirl and spin around without any guidance or knowledge where we are going.
I like to think that marriage should not be about falling, that falling isn’t the end all”, it probably should not even be about stepping on toes or the occasional collision as the beat goes on so to speak. What if marriage isn’t so much about “dancing happily ever after” so much as learning to extend goodwill to our partner and presume goodwill from our partner? Maybe it should be about learning to step out of the “its not my fault I don’t know that dance, or I hate that music” frame of mind into the taking responsibility for our actions frame of mind?
WOW, there’s a thought. Let’s take some dance lessons so we can appreciate other types of music.
It is important to remember in this institution called marriage that God designed it from one end to the other. God made man; God made woman, God made the music we dance to. He didn’t make us the same He didn’t give us the same taste in music and what’s more, I cannot believe that he did that mistakenly. He didn’t make one partner who was right and one partner who had no musical sense whatsoever, He made two partners that were simply “different”.
This brings me back to Matthew 19:6. “So they are no longer two but one. I still believe we are to maintain that we have different (not wrong, simply different) outlooks but we are to operate and function as a single unit, in harmony. The next part, “what God has joined”- WOW, wait a minute, how did we miss that because we certainly overlook it quite often. Do we, and the world in general for that matter just ignore that explosive statement, how did we let that one slip by……………….God joined us with our spouse?…………..doesn’t that make it a holy union? Maybe it is time we start treating it as such?
“Let no man separate”. Ok, this is a compact little nugget that holds a wealth of meaning also. I think that we tend to take this too literally. I think we tend to think it means a third party or other earthly interferences. Maybe we need to look at this statement in a little different light, what if we take it more personal? Couldn’t the statement, let no man separate, include ourselves? Uh oh, I knew there would be a life lesson for me today in here somewhere.
Maybe we need to take responsibility for making our marriages what God intended them to be, I don’t mean to exclude God but to at least do our part. Maybe we need to start taking responsibility for our actions, our thoughts, our deeds, in effect, our marriages. There are all kinds of music out there, all kinds of dances, none right, none wrong, all simply different. Learn them all so that when the time comes we need to dance to different music or dance a two-step instead of a waltz, we can. Sometimes it takes no more than an open mind and the habit of extending or presuming goodwill.
It seems to me that if we remember only one thing, that we should remember that GOD JOINED MY SPOUSE AND I. That should make it worth any length we have to go to in our marriages, and should make it worth any sacrifices we have to make. We have something special, something worth working on, something worth getting a little uncomfortable for or something we can risk looking a little silly for.
We have a holy union arranged by our Father.
Period, it really is that simple.